I hated this movie. I was hoping for fun adventure like the preceding movies but this one was different, it had far too many problems that made it impossible to like. These problems fall into three main categories: 1) problems adapting the Iron Man mythos into film, 2) problems fitting into the Marvel Cinematic Universe, and 3) problems as a movie.

Problems of the first type don’t bother me as much as you might think. I’m not an Iron Man fan and don’t know the finer details of the source material very well. I wasn’t even able to get a copy of Extremis from the SFPL until this week. So I’m willing to accept changes and adaptations additions and subtractions provided it’s an improvement.

The second set of problems are far worse though. Because while none of the preceding movies have required us to have a base knowledge of the comics, they reward and rely on our knowledge of the previous films. A key aspect of The Avengers was that the characters had all been established in previous films, we only needed to see them interact. Iron Man the first was able to stand alone but ended with a hint of “a bigger universe.” Iron Man 2 went out of its way to set up stuff for Thor and Captain America and make references to Iron Man and The Incredible Hulk but this movie tries to stand alone to it’s detriment.

And the third set of problems are what kill it for me. There are too many inconsistencies, plot holes, ill conceived conversations, and more to keep me engaged in what I should be engaged in. I am very willing to suspend disbelief for a movie but it has to be earned. A Suspension of disbelief means “you get the small stuff right, I won’t ask the big questions.” That means I have no problem with Iron Man armor or any other superscience as long as you’re consistent with how it works. turn off your brain and enjoy the action. I’m fine with that, I saw GI Joe 2 and I’ll be seeing Fast & Furious 6 in a few weeks, but I didn’t need to do that for the last Iron Man movies, I shouldn’t have to do it for this one.

Here are the problems (and detailed spoilers) that have stuck with me long after the movie ended:

• The Mandarin is one of Iron Man’s best villains and it’s kind of a waste to do what they did. But I don’t have a problem with it in and of itself. It didn’t do anything for the movie thematically and it’s worth noting that this ground was pretty well covered in Nolan’s Dark Knight trilogy. And let’s not forget that the Ten Rings organization was key in the first movie and could have been expanded upon instead of castrated. (Problem types 1, 2, 3)
• Tony is not a proactive protagonist. He does very little without someone telling him to. (1, 3)
  • He doesn’t care about the Mandarin’s reign of terror until Happy is hurt (while investigating a suspicious person). Once he pays attention to the Mandarin all he can do is ask to be attacked (without thinking to get the people he cares about to safety). It is revenge as he says, not a heroic action.
  • Tony doesn’t know how to go after the Mandarin when he wants to. Jarvis is the one to identify Happy is looking at the dog tags in the hologram.
  • When the armor isn’t working, Tony isn’t sure what to do and the kid tells him “to build.” Which is translated into Tony going to Home Depot and turning household items into gear for his secret agent action hero attack on the Mandarin’s compound using skills and capabilities not seen prior to this or afterwards (compare his skills to his lazy bantering at the climax).
• Tony isn’t necessary as a protagonist. Multiple times the armor can be flown remotely. Tony does not need to be in danger as Iron Man. He is able to save the Air Force One passengers remotely while he sits comfortably far away. His motivation in the first two movies was the elimination of weapons other than the armor but here he has made better the weapons. If this were a cautionary tale I would be fine with this. We see the armor attack Pepper while Tony sleeps which is bad. (It’s also not explained. Was it Jarvis? Tony’s implants only called the armor to him, he wore a headset later, which appeared from nowhere to control it remotely.) But we also see that Jarvis was capable of remotely controlling 30+ Iron Man armors at once and executing targets (which Tony is unable to prevent) which is the movie’s version of a heroic cavalry charge. In the movie it is unquestionably a good thing that Jarvis saves the day with the armors. (2, 3)
• In comics whenever a hero is facing a problem it’s easy to ignore the question of why don’t the Avengers help the X-Men when they see them fighting Magneto? The easy answer is that they’ve all got their own problems. That doesn’t need much convincing when you look at the newest issues and see that while the X-Men are battling Magneto the Avengers are in space fighting the Kree. But it’s harder to do in the movies when a key sales pitch of the movies is their connection. In IM2, while Tony is talking with Fury, news footage plays in the background of the Hulk battling the Army on a college campus. Colson has to leave IM2 early because Thor’s hammer has just landed in New Mexico. So fans could make an excuse for the filmmakers and say that Captain America didn’t come lend Tony a hand (or investigate his death as reported in the news) because he’s busy with the Winter Soldier in his own movie (due in theaters a year from now). But unless Captain America 2 takes place at Christmas, that won’t work. (2)
• The glue of the Marvel Universe has been SHIELD but here they were only mentioned once by JARVIS when creating the hologram. They weren’t keeping tabs on Tony or the Ten Rings or the Mandarin? They aren’t involved in War Machine/Iron Patriot? (2)
• The tag scene was a little funny. But there’s nowhere to go from here. The previous movies tag scenes seeded future movies but Tony Stark and Bruce Banner won’t be relevant again until 2015’s Avengers 2. (If they’re even in it due to contract negotiations.) It did nothing to tease any of the other upcoming “Marvel Cinematic Movies Phase 2” movies: Thor 2 and the Agents of SHIELD show this year or Captain America 2 and Guardians of the Galaxy in 2014. (2)
• Why was did the movie take place at Christmas? I know that Shane Black apparently likes to set his movies at Christmas but why? What did that add to the story? Best case it added nothing but I think it hurt the movie. (3)
• After the government was screwed over by Hammer Industries mucking with the War Machine armor in IM2, why did they then contract out the armor to AIM this time? And what did AIM do to the armor if the head of the company wasn’t able to make the armor open when Rhodey was in it? Did they only paint it? Then why did Rhodey have an AIM account that instantly reveals to Tony their evil plans? (2, 3)
• Why did no one bother to ask the Iron Patriot to speak or open his face mask when he boarded Air Force one? And I’m pretty sure when the plane explodes there were still people on board. (3)
• Why was the president a helpless passenger in the Iron Patriot armor but Savin and Rhodey could use it to its full capabilities before and after? (3)
• Why was the wife or mom, I wasn’t sure, of the dead soldier going to meet with Brandt in the bar? She was there for a meeting despite apparently always being in the bar. Why wouldn’t Brandt have just gotten all that from her at her home? (3)
• The TN cops wore their guns into the bar while drinking? (3)
• How hot can Brandt, Savin and the other Extremis subjects get? It was wildly inconsistent. While Tony was in a fist fight with glowing Brandt she was hot enough for him to melt his handcuffs on (even the parts of the handcuffs that didn’t touch her) but when she grabs his face he’s not burned? And why didn’t their (Brandt, Savin, Pepper, Killian, et al.) clothes burn off? And if you introduce fire breathing why only use it once? (3)
• The hologram was incredibly detailed. But where did all that detail come from? They say from satellites and crime photos but, who took the time to photograph the dog tags but only in enough detail to read a single word (“Taggert”) and nothing else without thinking to follow up on the dog tags themselves? (3)
• Everything about the kid was horrible. No one was asking for Iron Man to have a precocious sidekick. He never felt real. He makes a joke about his dad abandoning him to a stranger? His mom is working for…I’m not even sure how much time the movie takes place over, but Tony was in TN for a long time. And he has a sister because Tony steals her Dora The Explorer watch but where was she during everything? (3)
• All of Tony’s problems are solved by the end of the movie, even the problems the movie didn’t bring up before now. Tony’s armors are destroyed but it won’t be a problem for him to build a new one. One final scene is the microscopic shrapnel being pulled from his chest and his ARC reactor being removed. Which is a good thing for him but why bother since it wasn’t brought up at any point prior in this movie. If any other action movie ended with the hero saying “Oh, and my asthma was cured.” You would stop and ask, was this a problem? Was the asthma worrying him earlier? What changed in the course of the story to make this cure happen? (3)
• This movie doesn’t seem to know what the ARC reactor in Tony’s chest does. It powers the armor. I can accept that the armor could be damaged in the attack on his house but you can’t say it doesn’t have a power source and needs to be hooked up to a car battery when Tony walks around glowing. This was the reinforced throughout first two movies. Also Rhodey being a military man should have had Tony execute some basic noise and light discipline and zip his mouth and sweatshirt when they storm the villains’ headquarters. (2, 3)
• Tony should be the most famous and identifiable person on the planet. He’s the most publicly known Avenger before or after the events of that movie and the only one who didn’t go underground afterwards. But when he hangs out a restaurant no one comes up to him but a pair of kids? He doesn’t have any security system at his house so that Mya can walk up and ring the doorbell? The kid also seems to know who he is by sight because he says “you’re dead” and flashes the newspaper but seconds later asks who Tony is and he says he’s “The Mechanic?” A Mechanic and not an Engineer? (2, 3)
• Why could only two pieces of armor fly to rescue Tony while the rest couldn’t? The rest couldn’t  fly out of the shed until the kid came out and watched the pieces knock down the door and fly away. The other pieces didn’t go through the door, so how did they get out? (3)
• Where exactly is Jarvis? Is he in the armor or in the house? Because when the armor was damaged, Jarvis said he was damaged and not 100% either and wouldn’t be until the armor was “recharged.” But Jarvis is also able to control things in the house and the remote armors. (3)
• Tony can call a secure line from a payphone and leave a message for Pepper on the inside of one of his helmets, but he can’t get any of the house party armors until later? (3)
• I can forgive Pepper running back into the burning/collapsing building while her boyfriend the superhero is still inside, but the man sweeping up the house debris on the edge of a cliff prior to the House Party armors launching? OSHA would have a problem with that. And who told that guy to clean up the house seemingly the next day? Pepper was on the run and Tony was thought dead. (3)
• Mya brings up Werner Van Braun as someone who wanted to build rockets but wound up working for the Nazis. This is true. But then he became an American and built rockets. Her example only half works. (3)
• Aldrich had some bad dialog. After he and Tony have been engaged in a final battle he yells out “I’m the Mandarin!” Yeah. We all already knew that. Earlier he says Something to the president about “Do you know what an elephant graveyard is? The Elephant in this room is this ship.” These phrases have nothing to do with one another and are both being used incorrectly. An Elephant in the room refers to something that is obvious to everyone but is politely being ignored. Since Aldrich has to explain what the elephant in question is, it’s not an elephant. And an elephant graveyard refers to a place where older elephants stop walking and choose to die. No one was choosing to die there. If the ships are supposed to be elephants they didn’t choose to die there. In fact, the term the writers wanted there was the obvious “ship graveyard.” (3)
• Pepper seems to have spent a lot of time with Mya prior to asking her any questions. (3)
• Why did the VP’s kid need to be disabled? You don’t need the VP to be anymore evil than “he wants to be president” that’s his motivation. (3)

All that said, the movie did get a few things right:

• A good cast including Miguel Ferrer, Dale Dickey, Adam Pally and William Sadler.
• Opening the movie at the Bern event where Stark meets Yinsen, as he mentioned in the first movie.
• The Easter eggs: Roxon Oil, Barbi Arbogast, reusing Raza’s ring as one of the Mandarins (though that ultimately weakens the movie).

Bendis’ iteration will follow up on the critically acclaimed second volume made of Marvel’s formerly abandoned cosmic heroes which is due for a summer blockbuster in theaters 2014. As a kid I read the odd issue of the original title and was a loyal reader of the second volume. I like the characters and think there is a lot of potential for great storytelling but sadly I don’t expect Bendis to capitalize on that.

A few weeks ago he did a promotional interview with his employer in order to sell their product where he said,

“My thought as a writer is that space in between planets is where the good stuff happens; this is where they have time to interact with each other. Think about Star Wars; the best scene in Star Wars is when they’re going from one planet to the other and Obi Wan is trying to teach Luke about the Force. And the Wookie is playing chess with the robots. That’s the good stuff, that’s where you get to know everybody. That’s what space means to me.”

The first problem with that statement is the fallacy of stating his opinion as a fact. I doubt many people would consider that the best scene in the movie. I would say the Death Star battle, or the rescue of Princess Leia, or the Cantina scene, or entering Mos Eisley, or “that’s no moon,” or the opening scene. The movie is full of memorable moments and the scene he’s mentioning is one of those, but it’s hardly the one people turn the movie on to see.

The real problem with his statement is that his reasoning doesn’t hold up because, that isn’t when we got to know the characters. The scene he’s describing is the fortieth scene in the movie. By that point we’ve spent time with characters and they’ve distinguished themselves in our minds through their actions. We’ve seen that Luke is an adventurous kid willing to try new things despite anyone trying to discourage him when he set out after R2-D2. We’ve seen that R2-D2 takes risks and that C-3PO will be trying to hold him back when they escaped the Rebel ship and stumbled around in the desert. We’ve seen that Obi-Wan is in tune with something larger than the others when he scared off Sand People and tricked Stormtroopers. We’ve seen that Han is a man who survives by his wits and willingness to fight when he killed the assassin that came to collect him.

No matter how many jokes Han cracks around a chessboard, we’ll never learn more about him than we did when he shot Greedo in the middle of their conversation. But Bendis thinks the best way to illuminate character is to have them sit around a table. He’s been given a character that allows him to send his characters anywhere in the vast Marvel Comics Universe but he’s most excited about having his cast sit around a table and talk. That self imposed limitation is why I stopped reading Brian Michael Bendis’ comics years ago and why I won’t be revising that decision anytime soon.

Until last year there was a dry period with no new Turtles content as Nickelodeon developed their plans. Those began with a line of new comics from IDW beginning last August (with Eastman involved), a rollercoaster at the Mall of America opened on March 17, a new cartoon and toy line will start in the fall, and there will be a movie for Christmas 2013.

It’s nice to see new content but I’m not sure if it’s content I want. I know they don’t need to cater to me but I also know I don’t need to buy what they’re selling. I have the comics, movies, toys and video games from my childhood and still enjoy them. It’s on Nickelodeon to produce something worth my present attention.

The comics are nice but aren’t telling new stories, they’re more focused on redoing what’s come before. I completely understand the need to market to the child who replaced me rather than retain the man I’ve become. I admire their attempt to combine the best aspects of the past continuity into one thread. As they braid these histories together they have introduced new characters (Old Hob) and complications (reincarnation, Young Casey Jones) that I find cheapen the story rather than build on it. I’ll give the book a few more issues to develop into something I want.

The Turtles are a very simple concept with distinct but broad characters who can be easily explained and adapted so it is unnecessary to spend time discussing their origins when there are new adventures waiting. I’ve written before that these characters taught me about continuity at a young age. No matter how I was following Raphael he would be rushing into a fight before thinking it through but the stakes would be different if he was in a black and white comic, a movie, a children’s cartoon or an Archie comic.

This will be true even as Nickelodeon resumes the empire. From its inception the branches will be different: this fall’s cartoon will be less “adult” than the comics and the movie from Michael Bay’s company with aliens will be different than all the others.

The movie is the most controversial and has generated waves of outcry but I can’t find it in me to care. At this point I know that I don’t ever want to see a Michael Bay directed or produced movie again because I won’t enjoy it. And I don’t need to see the movie because it has the Turtles in it. I have the original movies on my shelf right now.

In fact I have enough old movies that I want to watch for a first, second or twelfth time that I don’t need to see everything that is shoved into movie theaters week in and week out. I know that there are classic comics I haven’t read that I’d find more rewarding than 99% of the stuff on each week’s new releases rack. I’m going to keep focusing on the stuff I want rather than what’s put in front of me.

I had grown up a Star Wars fan. I watched the original trilogy whenever it came on tv. I played with a few action figures I got at a garage sale. I memorized Star Tours. And I dipped into the Expanded Universe: comics and novels.

I couldn’t have been more excited for the Prequels. I hadn’t loved the Special Editions but I was ready for more but not what was coming. I didn’t like Episode I and only saw Episode II once, just before it left the theaters. But then came Genndy Tartakovsky’s Clone Wars and then Episode III in the summer of 2005. To everyone’s surprise, including myself & my girlfriend of four months (now my wife), I was a fan again.

Shortly thereafter a coworker with a Rebel Alliance isignia tattooed on his bicep told me of the early rumors that George Lucas planned to convert the movies into 3D. This was back before the current 3D resurgence of desperate theaters, increased ticket prices, dimmed projection, and movies that either ignored their 3D or went for quick gimmicks. In short, there was potential. The thought of the massive space battles in 3D dug in and stayed in my mind. This would be a big improvement over my childhood habit of looking up into a nighttime snow storm and trying to dodge the flakes.

On October 4, 2005 I woke up and noticed a zit on my face. A few hours later it had doubled in size and had company. This was the beginning of my first outbreak of shingles. Each doctor I saw (and there were many) warned me that if I got a blister on my eye ball it could blind it. This wasn’t an idle threat as the blisters were overwhelming my eyelids.

I was eventually put on a wonder steroid to calm it down but the threat was always there. Since then I’ve had one other outbreak of Shingles (oddly on October 4, 2009). Now at last Star Wars is coming out in 3D. It is not be the best movie, and I’m not the fan I was, and 3D isn’t as enticing as it once seemed, but it is Star Wars in 3D and I can see it, so I will.

Three years later we moved to Northern California which put us in the media market for Sacramento and the San Francisco Bay Area. That meant we could see games of the SF Giants and 49ers and Oakland’s A’s and Raiders. We could still see some of our San Diego games when when they played their division rivals: the Padres vs. the Giants and the Chargers vs. the Raiders. This means to me the Giants and Raiders have always been opponents. I’ll keep track of what they’re doing but only to see how it relates to America’s Finest City’s teams.

Thankfully the 49ers and the A’s only play the San Diego teams once every few years (less before the MLB started interleague play). So I could wear my Red & Gold with pride and without any sense of betrayal. I want to see all four of those teams do well each and every year. The best Super Bowl match up I ever got was XXIX and at the start of every season I hope for another one. But maybe this time The Unconventional City could win their first national professional sports championship.

The first disclaimer is “…because whoever wins the South Carolina Republican primary wins the nomination.” This might be hard for some people to comprehend but it’s important to remember that the Republican nominee for President is not actually the President of the United States of America. To date Clinton and Obama together defeated three Republicans: Bush in ‘92, Dole in ‘96 and McCain in ‘08.

The second disclaimer is “…since 1980.” Which means that the relationship between the South Carolina Primary and the eventual nominee is a relatively new one. 32 years might seem like a long time (it’s longer than I’ve been alive for one) but that’s only eight elections. Three of those primaries/nominations went to incumbent Republican Presidents (Reagan in ‘84, Bush in ‘92, Bush Jr in ‘04) and one was to the incumbent VP moving up (Bush in ‘88). That leaves four other primaries/nominations were there was some suspense: Reagan in ‘80, Dole in ‘96, Bush Jr in ‘00 and McCain in ‘08.

South Carolina shouldn’t be bragging about 32 years of presidential accuracy when they really mean 8 of 8 and more accurately 4 of 4 or 5 of 5. In that same period though the state has given all eight of its electoral college votes to the republican nominee, though the Southern Democrats have made some close races (Carter in ‘80 and Clinton in ‘92 and ‘96).

Most importantly there is a third disclaimer that no one will say out loud: “South Carolina isn’t the deciding factor in the nominations.” It’s only the third state in the archaic and undemocratic primary system and with many more states to vote before the national convention. The people of South Carolina’s primary votes have lined up with the last eight nominees but that’s no reason to think that will happen a ninth consecutive time or a tenth or so on.
Thankfully South Carolina is not America. It’s just a small part of it.

To round out her analysis she then asked how much prodding I got from my parents. Had they made me play sports or join clubs I didn’t want to or keep me from ones I wanted? Had they insisted I go to college? Had they said which school I should go to or what I should study?

I was happy to answer “No” to all her questions.

The only team sport I played in a league for was children’s soccer. I liked the game and my friends played so I asked to join. I enjoyed it for a while and then decided not to renew for third season. My mom was fine with that and asked why so I explained I was tired of my friend’s mother who screamed throughout the game.

My parents met at college but neither of them graduated from there (though my mother went back later to complete her degree and later still to get an MBA) and I made up my own mind to go to college. A few colleges sent me offers but I applied to only one school which accepted me and then gave me a full ride scholarship. I went in with a plan of what I wanted to study, found I didn’t care for that and switched. If at any point my parents didn’t agree with my plans they never vocalized them in front of me.

The one thing my mom told me I couldn’t do when I grow up was join the military. This came up when I came in from playing with my GI Joes in the backyard and said I wanted to join the army. She flatly told me that would not be happening. And she was right. I didn’t want to join the real army, I wanted to join GI Joe.

I haven’t joined GI Joe but my life has gone pretty well to date and I’m thankful my parents never pushed me into or kept me from any interest.

After that I searched out a few recordings of his stand up on the untamed internet of the day. He had a brilliant way of twisting the ordinary and could be delightfully vulgar. Whatever he was talking about he could always make me laugh, sometimes in spite of myself.

My friends and I planned a trip to New York City for March 2003 and to get in the mood the night before I went to see “25th Hour” a second time in the theater. Patrice had a scene in that as “Khari” a bouncer who gives Ed Norton’s character some advice about prison. I left the movie excited about the adventures I was about to have.

The second night we were out there we wound up in The Comedy Cellar without realizing how significant a place it was. We had a wonderful time tucked away in a corner which gave us a view of the whole room including the stage and the entrance. As the show went on I wondered if the only comedian I wanted to see would be there. And then halfway through the night, a large man entered and went through the center of the room towards the bathroom. It was Patrice.

My knee started bouncing under the table and I had to wait another two comedians before he came on but it was worth it. I can’t remember how he got on the topic but he did a really long bit on the sound of a penis going into a vagina. It was everything I thought he would be.

When I got home I put on the tape of the Chappelle’s Show that I missed while travelling and saw Patrice as Pit-Bull attending the Playa Hater’s Ball. It was the most Patrice O’Neal-ish week possible.

Ever since then I tried to follow his career and keep up with his appearance on the second episode of Arrested Development, Shorties Watchin’ Shorties, his comedy specials on HBO and Comedy Central, guest appearances on The Office and more.

Hearing that he had a stroke last month was upsetting but I held out hope that was dashed this morning as he passed away. I’ll always remember how much laughter and insight he brought to my life. Thanks for everything Big Black Cowboy Jesus!

My Little Town

In 1990 there were two places I regularly bought comics: the Chevron and Safeway. The other gas stations and the other grocery store probably did as well, but these were the places my parent’s when and so these were the spinner racks I saw.

I went to Chevron (now a 76 Station) every weekday morning with my Mom as she drove me to school and continued on to work. Their spinner racks were just inside the door, I would stop there and leaf through them while she picked up a cup of ice and a bottle of diet coke.

We went to Safeway regularly and I could sometimes get a new comic from the spinner rack by the magazines or the latest issue of Disney Adventures at the check stand.

It was a simple system and worked well for me. I saw comics on a daily basis and could get them when I was allowed or had money to spend.

Wide Open Spaces

Quincy was and is a great little town, but there are a lot of things it doesn’t have. About once a month my parents and I would head to Reno, NV for a day or a weekend. It was an hour and a half each direction but but worthwhile to stock up on stuff at Costco or Target, buy clothes, or see a movie in its opening month. When my friends and I were old enough to drive, going to Reno was a great Saturday adventure including hanging around in a mall. On these trips I discovered comic book stores.

The first one I probably went to was actually a sports card store (which I was also interested in at the time) in the same shopping center as Target and Mervyn’s. It was run by a friendly guy who also sold comic based cards and a few comics.

Shortly after that we found a real comic shop in a local mall that was huge with new comics and back issues. The place was so massive I didn’t know where to start looking. At first I would start looking through the new releases for anything I might have missed at home and then I’d go into the back issues, rarely hunting for anything in particular but maybe if I was lucky I could find a few consecutive issues of a title for cheap. The problem wasn’t finding something I wanted, it was picking just a few things I wanted.

Costco also turned out to have comic books. They would have shrink wrapped packs of around ten comics for cheap. I’d find a few gems there but lots of random stuff as well. These packs are responsible for the only issues of the Legion of Superhero comics I own.

Once I knew comic shops existed I had to find them everywhere I went. On any trip the first thing I would do when we got into the motel room was find the yellow pages and flip through to comic shops. Then we had to use whatever maps we had to find the place.

My mom remembers one instance where we opened up the yellow pages to comics and on the opposite page were the listings for Convalescent Homes with handwritten notes saying “rude staff,” “appointment 10am,” “will call back.” It was a sobering twist to the start of our vacation.

Another instance of comic shopping I’ll never live down was a trip to Concord, CA with my mom to see her parents. These trips always involved at least one comic shop trip (some in Concord and/or Comic Relief in Berkeley) but on this occasion my mom planned a busy day in San Francisco. We took BART over and bussed to the California Academy of Sciences in Golden Gate Park, then we got on a bus for the SF Zoo but as we rode I saw a comic shop on the street. We noted where it was and she promised I could come back. So we have fun at the Zoo, get back on the bus and go to the shop (which I think was Amazing Adventures). Then we got on the MUNI Metro street car downtown, I insisted on standing in the middle where the long traincar turned and noticed drops of what had to be blood on the floor. We got downtown and went to a store, then took a cab around the corner to FAO Schwarz (so that we could say we rode in a cab) and then BARTed back to my grandparents’ home. When we got there my grandmother asked what we did for the day and I answered, “I saw blood on the bus.” My mom got disappointed looks from her parents as she tried to tell them we had actually done a lot.

Getting close to home

We moved to Quincy because my dad got a promotion and transfer in the US Forest Service and shortly after we moved to town she got a job at the book/gift/art supply/frame store and eventually bought it. Each day after school I would walk to Epilog Express and spend my afternoon doing homework, watching tv (which she had installed in the office for me) and reading until the store closed and we could go home.

She also took an active role in the small town serving on several boards. One night she came back from the Chamber of Commerce to say that she had just met a man who had come to town to open a comic shop. He had family in town and had big plans for his store in a small but expensive space just next to the theater. My mom offered to rent him space in her store but he had already bought fixtures and made his plans.

The shop opened up and my classmates made regular pilgrimages down from school each day. I don’t remember much about the man but he was always very nice and enjoyed talking with us as we looked at the new issues or flipped through the back issues he brought along. We were hooked and the guy had great timing. It was comics’ heyday: Batman Returns came out that summer and the Batman cartoon had just started with the X-Men following close behind and Superman was about to die.

Looking back the man must not have been a very good businessman, because I’m probably one of the few people to make a profit buying multiple copies of the Death of Superman. My mom actually went to the shop to pick up two issues in their black plastic bags before I got out of school in case he sold out. We got two issues, one to open and the other to keep sealed so it could stay mint and become valuable. As expected he sold out at the shop and a few days later my mom talked with the guy again and he said he wished he had another copy because he could sell it for more. So I sold him back my open copy for several times what it cost so he could then sell it in his store at an even higher price. I took my profits and got the fourth printing of Superman #75 and a few other comics. But I think I still have a sealed black plastic bag somewhere…

Sadly the comic shop didn’t last. It had expensive rent and steady sales that didn’t reach his expectations. It was only open for six months but that was long enough to get people hooked and for the Safeway and gas stations to pull their spinner racks. Once the shop closed there was no place in Quincy to buy comics.

Coming home

Thankfully my mom decided to step in. She recognized there was a market and that it could integrate into her business but mostly she just wanted to make sure I could keep getting comics. She bought the comic shop guy’s fixtures and got his distributor contact information. She made a few calls and we were in the comics business with our first issues arriving in October 1994.

I say we because my days of hanging out at Epilog were over. Just before I turned 11 I went to work. I would go through the solicitations and pick out what comics we should order (no more than 4 copies of each) and go over it with my mom so she could call the distributor to place the order. When the comics came in I would open the boxes, check the shipping invoice and put the comics on the shelf and move suitably old issues to the bins.

Our timing wasn’t as great as it could have been. We came in just as Spider-Man’s Clone Saga was heating up and shortly before publisher Marvel Comics bought distributor Heroes World and kicked off what John Jackson Miller calls The Eclusivity Wars (http://blog.comichron.com/2010/11/lost-year-exclusivity-war-months-from.html) that would wind up shuttering two of the three comic distributors. We didn’t last very long. While we always had customers there were fewer and fewer coming in, and because of minimum order requirements, we had to order more from the distributors.

After we pulled the plug there were still a few long boxes filled with unsold back issues. Most of them would eventually be picked up for quarters during sidewalk sales and some went to a comic shop owner who was passing through town. The final stragglers filtered down into my personal collection. And while the store did lose money on this venture as a whole and I do feel some guilt, my mom says it wasn’t that much money and there was one great high point in the whole story.

In the summer of 1995 my mom decided to take a scenic route on her way to attend a Quilter’s workshop in Maine. My aunt and I went with her to New York then drove up to Boston before she continued on her way and we went back to our homes. My mom mentioned this trip on one of her phone calls with our distributor who got her in touch with a guy in Marvel’s promotion department. We met him on Friday, August 11, 1995 and he gave us a tour of the offices.

Most of the visit is a blur. We arrived and went to check in at the front desk but were told there weren’t any tours that day but we said who we were there to see and he arrived and whirled us around the nearly empty offices. Since it was Friday most people go to work from home he said which was why the legendary bullpen was empty except for a few people hard at work. I was too intimated to look over their shoulders or bother them but I still wonder what pages I passed by only to read months later. We stopped at a closet where our friend in promotions handed me an all white edition of Spider-Man #400 with the “death” of Aunt May, an uncut sheet of X-Tinction Agenda insert cards and some Spider-Man coasters. Eventually it was over and I could breathe again.

Once we stopped selling comics that was it for Quincy while I lived there (though I hear they have been available in town for the last few years). I would discover though that I could order collections through our regular book distributor and would get whatever I could.

After the comics stopped selling I continued to work there, cutting down matboard and eventually working as a sales clerk. I was able to find a way to increase business when at a sports card convention in Reno I discovered Magic: The Gathering and immediately became obsessed. After a few consecutive trips to stock up in Reno, I suggested we try to sell these in the store. Our first order sold out within days and we quickly reordered. They were a runaway hit selling to people of all ages in town and encouraged by the Sunday night game nights I lead.

My mom wanted to move on from the store and in the fall of 1997 began the MBA program at UC Davis. She sold Epilog in February 1998 and quit in September 1998. I quit in January 1999.

Distant Places

Without a place to get comics in town I became more dependent on out of town stores. I was dependent on Wizard magazine for news and suggestions. Picking up comics once a month made it hard to see everything that was available but it was great to come home with a pile of comics and to sort and resort and then read them by myself. The only conversations about comics I was having at this point was with my parents or when people wanted to talk to me about Superman’s new electric powers.

My mom going out of town for college helped keep my purchases regular. She had been to enough comic shops to know what a good one was and she found them near the apartment she stayed in for two nights each week and later seven. I would write a list and she would take it to the store who filled it. I once got to come with her when my school was out. The woman at the shop we went to was happy to make recommendations much to my mom’s disappointment.

In the summer of 1999 I went to Australia for two months and used the internet to keep track of what was coming out and asking my mom to get them for me. That was also the summer that she collected Star Wars merchandise for me and Beanie Babies for my aunt.

I go to comics, I mean college

In August 2000 I left Quincy for San Francisco State University for schooling, new friends and experiences and some comics along the way. I knew the city fairly well from visiting my grandparents but with my friends we found the some of the other sides of this multifaceted city. We also discovered comic shops in what seems like every neighborhood. Most of my friends were lapsed comic readers from the boom years and one who was a deeper reader.

Each Wednesday my friend and I would make a regular trip around our neighborhood stopping at Borders, Suncoast, Tower Records and Comics Outpost II on Ocean Avenue. Only the last one of those still exists and I haven’t spoken with my old friend in years.

Comics Outpost was a fine shop. It was a little dark and the walls were covered in old action figures still for sale, but there were back issues to flip through and new comics clearly displayed and easy to look through. The staff were friendly and accommodating and set up my first ever pull list. The best feature it had though was being just a 20 minute walk from State. I lived on campus in the dorms for my two years and in an apartment for the third. In the meantime my parents moved from Quincy to Phoenix, AZ and in when I would visit I’d explore the stores my parents recommended.

In 2003 the owner of Comics Outpost moved and sold the store to a guy named Gary. He was friendly and outgoing but never learned my name or recognized me as someone with a pull list. At this point I was going to the shop by myself and never felt welcomed or appreciated.

The final sour point in going there was when I got my pull list and found a it contained comic called “Spider-Man & Wolverine.” I asked why this was in my list and Gary said that he ordered it for anyone with either Spider-Man or Wolverine on their pull list. He didn’t try to sell me on the comic, he just expected me to buy it despite not knowing me or my tastes.

I see the future

Luckily in the summer of 2003 I finally moved off campus with my good friend Eric into an apartment on Noriega St betweeen 25th and 26th Aves. I was living there for a two weeks and driving to work before my father came to visit and we decided to take the train to a baseball game. Walking home at night we passed by 1653 Noriega where a party was taking place. People were laughing, music was playing and in the corner of the window action figures wrestling. I said to my dad, “I think this is a comic book store.”

By chance I had moved within two blocks of Isotope Comics (http://isotopecomics.com/).

A few days later I went back during regular business hours and met James Sime, Jared and Ryan. Despite not knowing who I was they were excited I came into the store and talked with me. This was what I had been looking for in a comic store. The Isotope sells comic books but offers so much more. Here was a place where I didn’t just come in, get my books and leave. I could get entangled in a conversation about the art and stories on and off the page. I could relax and read through my books with a beverage. Or come back at night for an epic party with a comic creator I admired or was discovering for the first time.

I went back to Comics Outpost, introduced myself and told them I wasn’t coming back.

The Isotope was everything I wanted in a comic shop before I could describe it. I would have started shopping there simply because of the proximity to my house but now I can’t imagine ever leaving it.

Come and see the show

One fun part of living in the city is the constant stream of events and doin’s. One of my favorites is the comic conventions which excite even my non-regular comic reading friends. Each year is a different experience compiled from panels, movie previews, cosplay sightings (which I translate for my friends), back issue discoveries and more.

In addition to attending, I’ve also had a booth at WonderCon and APE for a few years to peddle my mini-comics. It’s expensive and rarely profitable but I’ll always remember those years of sitting with my best friends for a weekend talking comics with anyone who comes by. The best moment I’ve ever had at WonderCon was when someone came to my both and said they loved the comic they got the previous year and wanted to see what new comics we had.

We’re in this together

San Francisco also has a wonderful library system that seems intent on giving the people what they want. I’ve been a loyal customer since I finished college and realized I could read what I wanted from now on. Their comic section has expanded by leaps and bounds since I’ve been here and there are some treasures waiting to be discovered on the shelves.

Old habits

As loyal as I am to the Isotope, I still love popping into other comic shops if I’m out of town or in a different neighborhood. My mom quilts and visits fabric stores and told me that in that community there are FabShop Hops (http://www.fabshophop.com/) to tour different stores and see what unique fabric they have to offer.

These days there is such a wide variety of types of comic shops I like to see what flavor I’ll find. Will the be an old model dark room with dinged up long boxes and dusty toys on display or are they an Isoclone, emphasising atmosphere and experience or something in between?

I rarely buy anything when I travel because I want to keep my dollars local but I’m still a sucker for back issue bins. Though these are disappearing as more and more stores give space to shelves with collections. At first I found this troubling and wondered what we were losing in face of progress. And this is progress, it’s better for stores and the industry to push easily approachable/digestible new complete(ish) stories rather than yellowing samples of those same stories.

And the back issue bins have only moved out of stores and gone online. If I have a craving for a comic that came out before I was born, I no longer have to play the lotto and bounce between the many shops in town, I simply go online and find that specific issue in minutes. eBay is fine but my preferred marketplace is Mile High Comics (http://milehighcomics.com/). They’ve usually got what I’m looking for along with sales and discounts from their mailing list.

Incidentally, Whatever…(http://www.whateverstoreonline.com/) is my second favorite comic shop in San Francisco. If I we didn’t have the Isotope, I’d be there every Wednesday.

Today

Over a third of my comic buying life has been at the Isotope which is where I’m going today. And I’ll be back next Wednesday and next party for the books, community and experience.